I wrote this in September 2015 and revisited it on September 16 2016 – and it is still very familiar, as i find myself waking up for the past few months about the same time every night, wondering, writing and contemplating what lies ahead – yes Still somewhat in a place of Discomfort – What about you – what it your place of discomfort and what has to happen in your life for it to change
Been up for about 30 minutes, not certain why but there I was. My life for the past few months had been full of wonder, worry and anticipation. Don’t know what is coming but trusting and believing that it will be fresh, new, reviving and full of the goodness of God. I could almost quote an old poem – “Life ain’t been no crystal staircase, but it has not been an old wooden staircase full of splinters and rotten wood either. I think my life has been more like a revolving, reversing, slowing down, getting stalled and sometimes unmovable staircase. As I type this message I can see myself suspended and waiting to move forward. I just thought about something. This past week I was blessed to experience my first cruise and if I had to name the one thing I was most bothered by or uncomfortable with is the delayed movement in certain places. For example on our excursion while in Cozumel we visited an island. Now to get to the island the boat only brought us to a certain point and from there we had to walk a small bridge over the water to reach the land. I needed the group to move quickly on that bridge because I could not stand too long on that bridge over that water. That was one example but there were others where the delayed movement caused me some discomfort. Now be clear I am not one of those folks who has to be in motion all the time, I do not like to live my life in a hurried state. But places of delay, stagnation and non progression do bother me. Now I know this comes from a place of fear, of unbalance and of not being in control. Got some stuff to work on – but first step has been taken recognizing the fear, next step what causes it. Another one of my early morning just thinking post. Blessings to all who read it.